I'm Just Beating You Racist Assholes To The Punch

NYC garbage goes to Ireland?

Doesn't it usually work the other way around?

In: irish

Movie Review: The Prestige

Let me first say that this movie isn't half bad. It's definitely better than 'The Illusionist'.

As many people have pointed out, though, the whole 'prestige' thing (it's what the punchline of the magic trick is called) is a bit thin.

On the other hand, I can't wait to work it into my sex life. If I ever get laid again, I'll make sure that 'the prestige' is spectacular. The important part is to yell, "The prestige," at a strategic moment.

Anyway - this movie. Isn't magic tricks a dumb thing to kill / die over? I'm going to kill a guy to steal his juggling movies. Or, like, his unicycle.

And here's a pop-quiz for you geeks. Does Christian Bale look more like:
A) A Cardassian, or
B) Constable Odo?

In: the prestige

Quit Working And Watch Some TV!!

This is a video of two otters holding hands.


And this is Woody Harrelson (sort of) jerking off.

In: video

Scissorfighting 101 Made Me Dizzy, Dizzy, Dizzy In My Head

I saw a bumper sticker (on a beat-up Volvo, natch) that said 'Throwing Muses University' in a college-y font.

Honestly, I'm not 100% sure that school is fully accredited.

Also, Throwing Muses? Really?

In: throwing muses

Club Sandwich Celebrity Burn

We've made Sarah Jessica Parker jokes a lot around here, but I think I've finally perfected the craft.

Check this out:
Secretariat Jessica Parker

In: sarah jessica parker

Club Sandwich Anthropology Edition

I think it's fairly widely excepted that if white people had a song it would be by John Cougar Mellencamp.

But which song?

I'm leaning toward 'Hurts So Good' at the moment.

In: white people, john cougar mellencamp

Movie Review: Poseidon

I've seen this one and the original. Compared to the new one, I can honestly give the one with Ernest Borgnine an earnest Borg-ten.

In: poseidon

Words That Sounds Dirty But Aren't

Ascertain

Caucus

In: dirty words

Movie Review: Thumbsucker

It's better than 'Chumscrubber'.

In: thumbsucker, chumscrubber

Her Nemesis Is Clearasil Man

Did you guys watch 'Heroes' last night?

They introduced a new bad guy. She dresses all hot topic (she's evil, get it?) and she has two super powers:
1) Shape changing
2) Zits

And speaking of high definition not being your friend, is Malcolm McDowell made of clay? Yikes.

In: heroes, acne

This Post Is For Dummies (Like You)

Today at work someone asked me what VOIP is. I guess because I'm relatively young I know about stuff like Tivo and blogs.

I briefly explained it to her, and she said, "OK. Because I got a 'VOIP For Dummies' book in the mail today, and I didn't know what it was about."

Do they have Cliff Notes versions of those 'Dummies' books? Maybe that'd help.

In: voip, dummies

I Just Started Using Laser Cats Again

I just saw this on Saturday. It's hilarious.

In: saturday night live

A Modest Proposal

Unlike Jonathan Swift, I'm completely serious about this.

This country would be a much better place if we change the right to vote just a little bit.

From now on, anyone who votes for 'American Idol' is no longer eligible to vote for President.

Also, we should eat Irish babies.

In: american idol