Join the club (sandwich!): February 2006

2/28/2006

Hilarity is on the March

There was a segment on NPR just now about the Saddam Hussein trial. It quoted an Iraqi citizen saying that the trial was a joke and a waste of time. He said that his time would be better spent watching Tom and Jerry. I think I may have more in common with those people than I thought. Plus, Tom may have been a dick, but he never gassed 143 Shias.

2/27/2006

History 101

Our 29th President's middle name was 'Gamaliel'. Ha, ha, ha! What a fruit - am I right?

P.S. I'm just playing, G.

'Rita Grilled Chicken!

Enjoy your dinner, jagoff.

Smash the State!

Either this person knows something I don't about the Business Journal, or s/he has a much broader definition of facism than I do.

Not Your Finest Moment

Is it just me, or is there absolutely nothing glorious about a glory hole?

2/26/2006

Summarizing Every Internet Joke

Knock knock.
Who's there?
A computer.
A computer who?
BEEP!!

2/25/2006

What a Waste of Internet

I was just doing some research, and I couldn't find any sites where a dude keeps track of his poos. You guys are really letting me down.

More like 'The Rock'-ing Tall

You know who would have been a poor choice for Johnny Knoxville's role? I'll give you a clue.

2/23/2006

A Heavy-Handed Race Parable

I just watched Crash. It was completely Ludacris.

Here's the thing, though. I also watch Lost, and I just finished the second season of 24. You know what they all have in common? How come there's only one Korean actor?

Attn: White People

Hey guys! This might help you someday:
N.I.G.G.A. = Never Ignorant, Gets Goal Accomplished.
R.E.A.L.I.T.Y. = Rhymes Equal Actual Life In The Youth.

Glad I could help.

This is exactly what it looks like

2/22/2006

The perils of a Godzilla based economy

Here's an article about Nintendo's main office. Don't bother reading it - I didn't. The relevant bit is: "It’s difficult to believe, but Nintendo’s main office sits across from a rice paddy."

Way to go, Japan. Nobody saw that coming.

The purple punch that gets you crunk

Nice Guy Eddie passed away a month or so ago, as you probably know. The medical examiner just released his report, though, and said that he died of an overdose of promethazine cough syrup.

What I want to know is, how throwed on lean do you have to get before you die?

The answer is a lot. A lot throwed.

Respect!

Am I the only one who's impressed that Ali G can ice skate?

Also: Slutskaya. Ha!

2/21/2006

For a show about terrorism...

... Sleeper Cell sure had me rolling. Two dudes were talking about banging large women, and one of them advocated the practice by saying, "It's more layers for the players." Nice!

2/19/2006

Marc Bolan: Great Jewish Music

If you're like me, you love the star wipe. I just watched the video for "Get it on, Bang a Gong," and I have to admit that it was the first time I've ever seen a Star of David wipe. He left us way too soon.

Tender moments

This happended to a firend of a friend. Her boyfriend went into the bathroom and called her in a few moments later - like, "Come in here - you've got to see this." When she walks in, he has his pants off and is perched "like a gorgoyle" on the toilet bowl. He says, "look how far it drops!"

Now, I'm not sure why he did it or what he hoped to accomplish with his little display, but I think it's safe to say he didn't get a blump out of it. In any case, they're no longer an item, so snatch this one up while you have the chance, ladies!

2/18/2006

Attn: Black People

You guys really need a new slang term for 'the benjamins'.

May I suggest 'the spendjamins'?

The first rule of fight club

If you get into a fight and get punched it's a bad idea to scream, "my face! my beautiful, beautiful face!"

If you get into a fight at a factory, and you get punched and fall into some chemicals it is OK to hold your head in your hands and make people think you're sobbing. Then you can lift up your face and reveal that you are really cackling maniacally. And also, you are now The Joker.

Join the club (sandwich!)