Nothing is happening today. Anything that is happening is not funny. It sucks, but it's true, and we at the Sandwich refuse to lower our rigorous editorial standards.
Check back later. Maybe I'll make a joke about weiners.
Oh, I know - I was writing a post about how shitty mockumentaries* are. After about 5 paragraphs I realized it was boring the shit out of me so I stopped. I'll distill it to its essence for you, though:
David Guest's wife has a dick.
*I feel so gay typing 'mockumentary'. My next post will likely be about 'Brangelina'.