It's A Long Way To The Top If You Wanna Rock And Roll

We're pleased to introduce a new occasional feature here at the Sandwich wherein we read the Musicians Wanted and Musicians Available classifieds in the Portland Mercury and bring you the diamonds among the coal.

This time out, we liked this ad:
WHITE BOY BLUES singer poet seeks clever , creative project. writing, recording, filming. into ragga dub, T-rex, morcheeba, Breeders, old soul, yaz, punk...(503) [REDACTED].

Pretty much the only part he got right was T-Rex. Other than that - jeez. Where to start?

• "White boy blues singer poet" is cringe-inducing. I have a hunch that he means more Tom Waits than ZZ Top or, like, The Stones. So, basically, nice fedora. Jaggoff.
  
• I think "clever" is the new "sickeningly pretentious".
  
• Plus: "writing, recording, filming" = a triple threat. A true renaissance man.
• Finally, Breeders? He might as well have listed his interests as sopping up his own menses.