The WGA: Fighting For The 20 Hour Work Week

Never again.

Or Maybe It's Like Entourage. The Guy In The Back Is Turtle

It's nice to see Paul McCartney trying to revive his career by taking a page out of Gwen Stefani's book. It's always a nice move to accessorize with Asians.

I can't wait to buy a pair of sweatpants with P.A.U.L. across the ass.

By Comparison, John Madden Is Like George Carlin

Here's a choice quote from last nights Monday Night Football telecast after Romo threw a pass directly to one of Buffalo's linemen, John DiGiorgio.

"It's not pizza, it's DiGiorgio."

First of all, you got the line wrong. Substitute 'pizza' for 'delivery' and you're on the right track.

Second, 'delivery' actually works better, joke-wise. Because Romo didn't mean to deliver the ball to the other team, right?

Jesus. Could you guys bring Dennis Miller back or something?

I Can't Wait To Learn A Valuable Lesson About Friendship For 90 Minutes

A Futurama DVD is coming out soon.

Let's see. It took 18 seasons of The Simpsons to make their movie. It took 3 seasons of Futurama to make theirs.

By my reckoning, the Futurama movie will be 1/6th as good as the Simpsons movie.

Seriously, You Should Really Be Watching 'Weeds'

I seriously hope she names him U-Turn.

While we're on the subject, here's a note for the black guy at Trader Joe's who kept asking what an eggplant is:
Please try to make it a bit harder for me next time, OK?

Like When The Jetsons Were On The Flintstones

Dear NBC,

Here's an idea for synergy:
'To Catch A Predator' visits 'Kid Nation'.

Movie Review: The Brave One

I was so hoping this movie was going to be called 'Taxi Driver 2: Easy's Revenge'.

Bummer.

This Is My 911 Post. I'm An American Hero.

Remember last week when that hooker got kicked off the plane for wearing too short* a skirt?

At least now we know where Osama bin Laden isn't. In that chick's coot. Which makes him a minority of one.

R.I.P. NYFD. This one's for you, boys. Let's roll, America!

*It's actually not that the skirt has too short. It was that her vagina is too long.

It's Hard To Fight A Class War With A Shiv

I heard a thing on TV the other day where someone mentioned, "Gated communities for rich people."

That's an important distinction, because there are also gated communities for poor people:

Separated At Birth: Dinner And A Movie Edition

The difference? One walks around on Crocs and the other can't walk.

Could You Hang Out With A Guy Named Turtle? Fuck You, Then.

Hey, Entourage?

I'll steer clear of the fact that nothing has happened for a season and a half.

What I want to know if what's with M.I.A. three times int he last episode? Seriously?

I'll tell you who's going to be M.I.A.: me, as soon this season is over.

Zing!

Because They Look Like Juelz Santana. Get It?

Sorry I've been away so long, you pathetic groupies. I've been busy listening to the new Diplomats mixtape.

I'll be back soon with some gems. Strap in*.

*or on.